In this newsletter, I’ve talked a bit about downsizing. Getting rid of your “stuff” and how liberating and freeing it can be.
There’s something else to eliminate at our age that is also so very freeing. It’s a sensitive subject and can be a slippery slope to discuss.
I know. This is a tough one.
When we were younger, many of us wanted to be part of the crowd. Invited to the party. Have our social schedules filled to the brim. Because if it wasn’t, we’d feel like, well, a loser. Much of our self worth was measured by how many friends we had.
My big “Eureka!” happened when I was in college. I finally realized that not everyone is going to like me and I don’t need to like everyone. It was such a relief. To give myself the permission to not have to be everything to everyone. I was able to relax. I was able to be me. It rid a good dose of anxiety from my life.
Of course, it didn’t happen overnight. It’s human nature for us to want to be loved and admired. But over the years, as I got more comfortable with my life, and myself, I didn’t yearn for acceptance from others…as much.
Through my 30s and 40s, I continued to hang on to some relationships even though they felt toxic. I didn’t like the person I was when I was around certain people. I’m not saying that they were bad people, or that I was a bad person. I’m just saying that I didn’t get any value from these people, and, more importantly, wasn’t able to give anything of value to them.
It was a few years ago that I decided to, not necessarily eliminate people, but rather to invest in the relationships where I felt there was a more balanced exchange. Mutual reciprocation. Relationships that made me feel really good, and that I knew made the other person feel good as well.
Today, I’m totally okay with not being invited to the party. I don’t get FOMO. I don’t care how many Facebook friends I have. I’m happy and content knowing that I have deep and meaningful relationships with the most wonderful women – even if it’s only a handful.
My self worth is not measured by quantity, but instead by fulfillment. Because, as they say, “quality over quantity.” Right?!
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Here’s some insight about friendship from the rest of the world…
“True friendship is when you walk into their house and your WiFi connects automatically.”
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